Good Morning Planet,
How are you doing?
I am fantastic, as always. My goal is to remain so until I hit the 125 mark.
Yup, you heard it right! Staying alive until 125 is one of my goals.
I understand if at this moment you feel an urge to label me a lunatic. However, I will change your perception by the end of this essay.
At the age of 18 (it could also be 19, I wasn’t keeping journals back in those days, I was young and titties were more appealing than pens), I listened for the first time – “The end by Jim Morrison.”
“This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end of our elaborate plans
The end of ev’rything that stands
No safety or surprise
I’ll never look into your eyes again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need of
some strangers hand
In a desperate land
Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain……..”
I had recently started smoking up. If you are or ever been a stoner, you know what this song does to us. “The End” acted as a doorway to an unexplored cosmos waiting to embrace the madness inside me. That day sparked a rock revolution in my veins, which still demands all of me, all the time.
Back in those days Internet wasn’t as readily available as it is for Millenials. Most of these fuckers perceive it as a birthright. Glad they weren’t born in Kashmir. Nonetheless, I always was a very resourceful person. Twelve months down the line, I had a personal collection of more than 1200 hits. I had posters of every star. Mick Jagger shook his hips on my walls while Cobain played with his needles in my library.
This rock revolution introduced me to Club 27!
In case you lived under a rock for your entire life, let me introduce you to Club 27.
Club 27 is where you go when you are so talented, this world appears to be beneath you.
When your art is unparalleled, when your creativity knows no bounds, when you achieve all one can dream of before you are 26 years old, and when you realize people, riches or fame cannot fill the void inside you, what do you do?
You insert a needle in your veins, and you tap out.
You tap out to a place where there’s no torment left.
You tap out from a place reeking of selfishness.
You tap out from personal miseries, pulling you down.
When all you want to do is fly higher, you tap out!
You go to a better place. You become a part of Club 27.
Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse are few of the woke individuals who became a part of Club 27.
We all need obsessions. Becoming a part of Club 27 became my obsession. The day I decided I wanted to be a part of Club 27, a transformation happened. I was free from the afterthought of what others think about me. All that mattered was writing a revolutionary book before the age of 27 and bidding goodbye.
I wrote less and prepared for my membership more. There wasn’t a substance I left untried. I didn’t consider debauchery a sin. I was a loose cannon. I feared none. All I cared about was to complete a book before 27 and embrace death.
Death should be celebrated. All else is just a passing affair. This was my modus operandi.
It still is!
The only difference is I am no longer chasing the inevitable. Now, I am an ocean. The moon will shine, the tides will rise. I will wait for it. I am not going to sing to the moon.
I did my part.
I wrote my legendary work – Broken Radio. It didn’t bring the immediate recognition I had hoped for. But that didn’t matter much. I knew what counts is leaving a legendary work behind, which will stand the tide of time.
So, phase one was complete. Now, all I had to do was tap out.
My lifestyle was already in sync with my goal. My daily diet was 6-9 pints, 4-5 joints, 2-3 boiled potatoes, and few paint shots or glue whatever was available. Within a month of my book getting published, I had two seizure attacks, which I welcomed with a smile. I knew I would make it to the Club 27.
Finally, the day arrived.
I was staying in Tosh, Himachal Pradesh. I used to spend my afternoons wandering in the mountains, having intimate dialogues with flora and fauna. This particular day, I and mother nature were engrossed in a demeaning argument. I constantly challenged her authority. I made vile threats ensuring she understood her place in the dominance hierarchy. I (a stubborn passionate individual) will always be at the top and every other force beneath me.
I hated the fact that she had created mountains laden with vegetation in a futile attempt to stop me from completing more miles.
So, we locked horns.
I saw an excellent spot a few miles ahead of me. The challenge was an unscalable mountain rich in vegetation.
I was persistent. Like a loving mother, she warned me not to pull any stunts. Like a spoiled brat, I ignored her and began my ascent. The ascent took me close to 2 hours. I unleashed the savage within. A sheer brute force encompassed all of my being. I started climbing like a manic. I had no gear, nothing to make things easier for me.
Two hours later, I was at the top of the mountain. Once I was at the top, I identified a narrow pathway that could have made my descent a child’s play. But my stubborn self decided to create his own path.
While I was mentally preparing for a challenging descent (mind it, till now, I had no such prior experience of scaling mountains. I was just a pumped up entity under an illusion that my sheer will can bend all the rules of nature/physics), a native woman appeared out of nowhere.
Till now, I had figured out the operational mechanism of the universe, or at least thought I did. I knew she was sent to stop me.
This lovely female asked me about my destination. She very helpfully offered her assistance in helping me go down the path. However, the arrogant “me” refused her assistance. I hopped away rhythmically.
I yelled, “I will do this on my own.” A thunder flashed in the sky. That was mother nature’s fuck off!
After munching on a small piece of crumpled chocolate, I began my descent.
The challenge in front of me was too much vegetation crowding the mountain path. There was absolutely no way to use that path. Yet, I did not flinch.
I am not a flora expert; therefore, I cannot tell you the grass and plants’ names blocking my way. I will describe them using their color.
The mountain was filled with orange color smooth, slippery grass. That formed the level one vegetation. Beyond that, there was level two, which had firmly rooted plants with elastic branches and huge leaves. The level three vegetation was of big trees that appeared now and then.
Thinking about Dashrath Manji, the mountain man, who single-handedly tore mountain’s heart, I began my descent.
I decided to slide on the orange grass, grabbing every twig and branch in my way and breaking my impact using the big tree trunks. It seemed like a good strategy at that point in time—a classic rookie’s mistake of assuming that we know shit.
Things worked in my favor for maybe a kilometer or two.
I slipped in a controlled manner, grabbing branches to navigate and finally using my feet as an anchor to rest whenever a tree trunk appeared.
Suddenly shit caught up. It was bound to.
One wrong step, and I found myself hanging from a branch with no ground beneath my feet. I looked down horrifyingly. I could see a river bed. If I fell, little chunks of my flesh would have painted the bank red.
This was the first moment I experienced fear. Till now, an overwhelming force pumped courage into me. Now, I felt abandoned. All I was left with was a horrified, racing heart.
I had a bag pack on my back. I forced my brain to find an escape. I had been in shit situations all my life. Even in a terrified, frozen state, I tried to find a way out. I could see a horizontal tree trunk a few meters below. However, for me to reach there, I had to go for a freefall. And then hopefully pray that I balance myself and not slip from the tree trunk. It was too big a risk. But I had no other alternative.
I let go of the branch. I took a leap of faith. A few seconds in the air and I landed on the trunk, slipped, fell, and somehow caught the tree trunk with my arms. Now instead of hanging to a branch, I was hanging on a tree trunk. The branch was rather easier. It was easy to grab. The trunk was too difficult to hold on to.
Till now, I was thoughtless. I felt like an observer seeing myself go through this epic shit!
Some reflex kicked in, and I pulled myself together. A few seconds later, I was resting on the tree trunk. I had managed to pull myself up and take a seat.
Phew, that was a relief. But nothing had changed. I was still in the middle of my descent with no place to go. Few minutes of rest activated my thinking brain. The inner dialogue resumed.
“So, this is it! This is what you were waiting for. Your moment of glory! Now is your time to join the Club 27.”
And I broke into tears. I started crying like a kid with no presents on a Christmas morning. I hated Santa, but it hurt that he abandoned me.
For the first time in my life, I realized I was nobody. I had somehow scrambled a half baked book. Very few people knew me as a writer.
I asked myself, “Is this it? I don’t think I have achieved anything; if I die today, will anyone remember me or even miss me?”
Faces of my loved ones flashed in front of me. I entered a dream-like reality.
I tried the other side of the argument too. I wanted to put myself at peace. Surrender to the circumstance and just jump with a smile. But the coward inside me couldn’t gather the courage.
So, I and my different projections agreed to live. The moment I decided I wanted to continue with my miserable state of existence, something flipped inside of me. I left my bag lying on the tree trunk. Stood upright, closed my eyes for a second, and prayed to all the gods. Shiva, Jesus, and Allah!
What happened next is incomprehensible. That’s one of the reasons I never shared it with anyone. Today is the first time I am narrating this.
I opened my eyes, and I felt a power within. A different kind of savage! This savage had brain cells intact. He didn’t seem to be overwhelmed by emotions. He was in sync with the environment.
Without any thought and for sure (not my imagination), I jumped in the air. Even monkeys couldn’t have sustained such a leap; the next thing I saw was me climbing upwards on the loose ground using only my fingertips and toes. It was surreal. I was climbing straight on a downward slanting mountain with nothing to hold on to. Every step I took loosened the soil and chunks of land started to fall beneath me.
There was no thought inside my head. I was just an observer.
After a while, I reached the top.
Few steps later, I fell on the ground and passed out. I have no idea how long I remained unconscious. The women whose assistance I had refused woke me up and offered me water.
The most surprising part was she asked no questions. She woke me up, offered me water, and went away.
After some time, I gathered strength and resumed back to my station.
I had this newfound understanding of the importance of life. I promised not to throw it away and devote myself to uplifting the society. I felt reborn.
So the moral of the story is – you can’t die until it’s your time. You got things to do. We got things to do. For all of that, we need to live. Live healthily, live happily, live with a purpose, live with compassion, live a meaningful life.
Now, when we are hell-bent on living, why shorten our lifetime by doing shit?
Therefore let’s learn how to stay alive till 125!
That’s the topic of the day.
Why should you live longer?
There are countless reasons why we should be alive for at least 125 years. More than a luxury, it is our duty. Most importantly, at present, we live in one of the most exciting times of human species. Whatever we think is likely to become a reality in the next five years. In such terrific times, if we do not survive to witness the history in making, it will be a terrible loss on our part.
What does the future have in store for us is a frequent topic of discussion among the circles I float in.
In my opinion, in around 40-50 years, Amazon will be mining asteroids for rare minerals. We would have established alternate sources of energy, and essential resources would be available for all. However, the price we will pay for our growth and development would be the destruction of our environment. The air will not be breathable. The water will not be drinkable. The soil will be barren.
That won’t still change much for our species. We would find out alternate ways to survive. After all, we are one of the most resilient viruses. [It’s fun to call ourselves mammals, when our actions are virusian in nature. We have zero regard for our host (earth). All we care about is the multiplication of our species. Mammals tend to love their environment. Nonetheless, that’s another debate.]
Amazon and Google would create pods for us. We will remain suspended in space. If you are claustrophobic, you might want to train yourself to live in tiny places. The future belongs to people who can crouch and bend, not those who stand tall.
Don’t worry about jobs and money. The masses have always been eternal slaves. The corporate lords would find an exciting use for us. If not any, then there is always organ harvesting and medical experiments. We would get opportunities to earn our keep in the future.
On earth, there would be dedicated zones with the environment intact or preserved by artificial means. These would be habituated by the ultra-rich while you and I stay in a pod staring at the blue dot in the universe.
Do not even trip about shit like agriculture and livestock! Thanks to technological advancements and our ability to create an artificial environment, everything will be made available.
Breaks my heart to paint such a bleak picture of the future; however, it doesn’t matter. Ramdass said, “we all are walking each other home.”
Wherever we go, it’s the journey that matters. And that’s why we should live longer, to experience, to witness and in my case to say – told you so!
In case witnessing a dystopian reality is not in your bucket list, there are other reasons to stay alive.
More or less, every religion, sacred text, arts and humanities, and several science streams agree that we are a combination of two entities.
A physical one and a soul.
The soul is part of the collective consciousness of the universe. Once we die, we just become a particle of the eternal light brightening this universe. We become the one.
Even if you disagree with this version, you must know that we have a physical body that helps us experience the outer world differently from our thoughts and dreams.
Our physical self is so powerful that it controls our behavior, reaction, and, to some extent, our future or destiny, howsoever you wish to interpret it.
If we are blessed with a physical self which can help us experience a ton of emotions, why deprive ourselves? Here, I am not talking about hedonistic behavior. I am not asking you to fuck thrice a day just because your body is capable of doing so. I am talking about filling your sack of bullshit with rich life experiences.
You haven’t lived if you didn’t jump off a rock! (of course, use a parachute or a rope)
You haven’t lived if you didn’t swim with the whales.
You haven’t lived if you didn’t fly in a hot air balloon.
You haven’t lived if you didn’t cycle South East Asia.
You haven’t lived if you didn’t taste maple syrup in Canada. (unlike a lousy person ordering online)
If you haven’t kissed your girl at the top of the Effiel Tower, you don’t love her.
If you guys didn’t lock lips with the Taj Mahal in the background shining like an eternal witness to love in a pastel moonlight, what have you done with your life?
If a Rhino did not chase you during an African Safari, Fuck off!
If you weren’t committed to a mental asylum,… (okay maybe we can skip this and prison too)
So you get the vibe!
There are tons of things for you to do, and you got to do them. How would you?
Well, you gotta live longer, buddy!
You gotta live longer!
There’s so much to do, and there’s so little time. Let’s extend the time, how about that!
Factors which impact aging
Let’s split the factors into internal and external. Internal are the ones that are totally in your control. If you are not a big fan of acting like a victim, there isn’t any internal factor that you cannot conquer. External ones lie beyond your scope of fixing, yet, even they can be defeated if planned meticulously.
Internal factors are mostly habit dependent. If you adopt a set of healthy habits, you can steer clear of the internal catalysts.
Your sleep-wake cycle plays an essential role in aging. If you are someone who thinks they are making a difference in the world by supporting the owl community, hooting and cheering till 2 am, more power to you, buddy!
If you think you are fucking things up by staying up late, then that’s what you need to work on.
Every mammal on this planet respects nature’s routine. They understand that nights are for rest, and mornings are when you roar. We need to abide by the basic routine.
The sun rises and sets at a specific time, not varying intensely. The same is the case with the moon.
The seasons follow a specific routine. Even when we have fucked the environment in the ass, the seasons still more or less follow the same routine, they did centuries ago.
So, practically every other force of nature follows a cycle, yet you somehow think, you are above the law of nature, and you will sleep and wake as you please. You assume it a birthright. You think you deserve to stay up late and wake up when the sun is above your head, expecting, I don’t know what sort of extraordinary rewards.
Well, you might want to study and understand the impact of an internal regulatory body called the circadian rhythm. This circadian rhythm is a natural, internal process that regulates the sleep-wake cycle and repeats roughly every 24 hours.
In simple words, your body keeps track of what you are doing and flushes you with biochemical accordingly. Suppose you are an excellent chimpanzee and wake up early, roughly around the same time daily, and you also sleep around the same time. In that case, your circadian rhythm is likely to reward you with happy hormones, and you will stay healthy and stable.
On the other hand, if you are a lousy chimp, you make your own rules, your warden, circadian rhythm will punish you by flushing you with unwanted biochemical, making you moody, frail, inattentive, and smelly at the same time. (Smelly matters, because it means you will no longer be secreting the pheromones needed to attract the opposite sex and, for that matter, impress the same sex. This, in turn, will translate into not getting laid in your personal life and not getting access to opportunities in your professional life. Even your unhealthy boss will be able to smell your shit and deny you the promotion you think you deserve.)
You see, how a simple wake up and sleep routine alone can easily destroy your life force. Slowly and gradually, you will be nothing more than a dead sack of rotten human flesh. Someone who could have seen centuries might not see their 50 because their pacemaker gave up while having sex on Viagra.
The remedy is as simple as it sounds. Set a fixed time to wake up. Let’s suppose 5’o clock. You start waking up every day at the same time.
Now, there is another catch to this. You need to make your mornings exciting so that you have something to look forward to.
If you wake up only to get ready for a dead beat job, you might not wake up. Just die already.
Wake up early, have a morning routine, line up activities for the morning – that’s how you make your mornings interesting!
Suggested Reading: Setting Up A Winning Morning Routine
Diet is another essential element you need to be wary of if you wish to beat aging. A wise person once said, “You are what you consume!” And consumption is not necessarily limited to food. It extends to every chemical ingested by your body and every toxic thought embraced by your mind. We would cover toxic thoughts later on. In this section, we will limit ourselves to food.
All those lazy afternoons when you were seduced by those plump donuts, thick waffles, and slender snickers did knock out a few months off your life calendar. I understand the argument that you only live once, and if we cannot even eat things we enjoy, what’s the point of such a life. However, we need to see through the flawed nature of the argument. Living a life indulged in hedonism will lower the life expectancy. It is fancy to say, “My life, My rules”; however, it is not our lives. Our lives are just a small node among billions of connections. Even if you are in no mood to be lectured about your obligations to the society and the universe, you cannot deny your role in the lives of people surrounding you in the immediate vicinity.
There is an old Japanese story. Of course, the Japs would be able to tell it more charmingly. I am just going to puke a half baked version. Here we go –
“A man loved his wife a lot. When she passed away, he was left alone. He missed her intensely and was always in sorrow. One day he visited an old friend. His friend asked him how he would have felt had he died, and his wife was left on her own. He replied, “Devastated!”
“There you go, my friend, you should be happy. Now, be happy because you are alive, and you can cherish her memories. Instead of her crying for you, it is your turn to be happy for her,” said the friend.”
The point being, you need to stay alive for your family, for your children, for your grandkids, for your society. Be useful to everyone. Don’t be a selfish ass who enjoyed his life, sucking the world’s nectar, and when came the time to pay a little back, ran away with all the might. This isn’t healthy!
If you genuinely wish to live longer, you need to make drastic changes to your diet. You need to eat real food—organic vegetables, sustainable meat, fruits, nuts, seeds, and food rich in antioxidants. A simple rule of thumb is anything which has a mother or grows on earth can be consumed; everything else is crap.
Any person with a little bit of common sense knows that food created in factories is not intended to meet your nutritional requirements.
If every time you feel hungry, you grab a pack of Cheetos and soda, you are killing yourself slowly.
Also, if you are eating after 8 pm, that’s another disaster for you! Your body clock wants you to eat your last meal before 8 pm, or else not only would it exert unnecessary pressure on your digestive tracks, but it will also speed up cell degeneration, which speeds up aging.
For those nights when you end up staying up late, do not fall prey to hunger pangs and start munching crap you could easily lay hands on. Try smoothies, shakes, or any other liquid substitute. Late-night sweet treats such as chocolates are only permitted if you are going to make love or else drink a vegetable juice instead.
To wrap the section up, few easy tips –
Make a list of healthy food items readily available to you
Create a diet plan/chart
Stick to your plan
If you are obese or food addict or you easily give in to cravings, try food journaling. Write about every meal you eat and whether you should be eating it or not
Remember, the marketplace is filled with sugary and unhealthy treats designed to tempt you. Stay away from them. They kill you slowly!
Suggested Reading – Maintaining A Balanced Diet
Sleep is one of the essential bio functions which regulate your hormones. Lack of sleep disrupts your mood, concentration, digestion, and overall performance. The biggest drawback of not getting enough sleep is aging.
You will see a consistent opinion by health experts around sleep. Everyone agrees you need around 7-8 hours of sleep every day. However, at the same time, it depends on your lifestyle. If you are into biohacking, you can manage optimal performance just by sleep of 4-5 hours each day and maybe 1 or 2 10/15 mins power naps.
Arnold, David Goggins, Jocko Wilinks, Tim Ferris, Gary Vee, and the list goes on; these achievers only sleep for around 5-5 ½ hours daily. I sleep about 5-6 hours daily. Yes, lack of sleep causes aging. However, if you are in control of your mind and body, if you are at a higher level of awareness, sleep might not hit you that bad.
But if you are a beginner and just begun sorting your life, stick to at least 7 hours of daily sleep.
Suggested Reading: Are You Sleeping Well
Stress is your biggest enemy. It is the cause behind nearly every disease and the most prevalent reason behind our daily miseries. Ideally, stress should be categorized as an external factor but blame it on Epictetus that we consider stress as something internal –
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.Epictetus
Whether it be the Buddhists, stoics, yogis, or modern-day philosophers, everyone agrees stress isn’t real. It is caused by our insecurities, which fuel our anxieties and, in the end, causes stress. It doesn’t matter what life throws at you, if it’s an apple discover gravity, if it’s a lemon, make a margarita. Stop overthinking!
We, humans, are blessed with problem-solving skills. It doesn’t matter how difficult a situation is, we are mostly adequately equipped to handle it. In rare cases, if we fall short of the essential skills, we have plenty of knowledge floating around to acquire the required skills.
You have books, gurus, and the Internet, what else do you need!
Do not focus on the problem. Focus on the solution instead.
Stress, fear, anxiety, all of these are lies which we tell to ourselves. These lies manifest in weird ways. One of those ways is rapid aging. You must have seen those specimens which in their 30’s have worry lines like Shar-pei.
Mothers unable to deal with the massive responsibility of raising kids age faster because of undue stress.
Employees who are unable to meet the challenges of their work profile age faster because of unwanted pressure they take on themselves.
On the other hand, mothers who take it light and easy, go out with their daughters and get those (maybe fake, maybe not) compliments about looking like sisters and what not!
Employees who realize there’s more to life than mental masturbation inside a cubicle- take vacations, do adventure sports and live longer.
Don’t let stress slide its penis into your ass. Be vigilant. Save yourself from anal rape!
Just take it, easy man! It’s just a ride.
As Bill hicks said –
The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly colored, and it’s very loud, and it’s fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, “Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we … kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.”
― Bill Hicks
Suggested Reading: How To Deal With Anxiety
External factors consist of Toxic people, toxic environment, and toxic relationships.
Some people grow tall, some remain 4’9 throughout their lives, some shrink too. You can only be around people who are growing at the same pace as you are.
Your drinking buddy from your college days might not be the best company for you when you have a family, and he still is enjoying boozing and whoring.
Your best friend who taught you how to roll a doobie shouldn’t be around you when you are sober, and he’s hooked to the needle.
We need to understand that all in all, we are the average of 5 frequent people who surround us.
If your inner circle is filled with losers and victims, don’t expect a bright future for yourself. Our company not only influences us but also defines our choices.
Humans are extremely gullible. They can be easily swayed from their goals. It is essential to maintain a circle of people who share common goals, vision, and support each other in times of need.
You had your 20′ to experiment with friends. Remember the catchy advertisement slogan – Harek friend zaroori hota hai (every friend is essential), that shit is no longer valid in the current context. You have very limited time, and if you end it up wasting on people who do not add value to you, you will not live the life you want for yourself.
The shit doesn’t end here!
Toxic people have an unnecessary need for drama. They will somehow drag you into their misery, disrupting your life. If you are on a path, you need order in your life. Toxic people thrive on chaos. Also, it is not your job to fix anyone. Everyone has to bear their own sorrows and delights. Do not be overly empathetic and dedicate yourself to improving a toxic individual. You will not be able to, and they will undoubtedly ruin your happiness.
Choose life. Stay away from toxicity.
Toxic people are easy to get rid of. You can ignore them, block them, or just confront and bid goodbye. Toxic environments are a real challenge. It is not always feasible to uproot yourself entirely from a toxic environment and find an attractive spot in a nurturing environment.
Any environment could be toxic – a toxic workplace, a toxic family, a toxic society, or a toxic country.
You always know when you are unhappy. And we are talking about real unhappiness, not the one which we purposely manifest from within just because we are inadequate, that’s another story.
If you are in a workplace that demands extra hours, offers no appreciation, doesn’t value you as an employee, finding a better job is always a good idea. At the same time, if you are someone who thinks these are essential for you to rise up the ladder, if you find yourself up to the mark to handle such an environment, then it’s alright. The definition of toxicity also depends on your tolerance level. What might be toxic for you might not be toxic for me and vice versa.
I feel adequate in dealing with an insecure boss. Even though it’s toxic, I can work my way around it. You might get flustered dealing with such an individual. For you, finding a suitable workplace should be a priority.
There is no thumb rule to define toxicity. I cannot tolerate my relatives. A friend of mine lives in a joint family and is surrounded by toxic relatives. With time, he has learned the art of dealing with nincompoops. He can deal with attacks and counter-attacks. I would perish. He doesn’t thrive either, but it doesn’t bother him.
We all have our buttons. Some are easy to press, some not so. What really matters is if it is toxic for you, you got to quit!
There would be thousands who would ask you to compromise with the situation at hand. At times even you will conclude staying is better than starting fresh. If it’s a gut feeling from within backed by bulletproof logic, rely on your instincts. If it’s a plead by a lazy and weak mind, break your shackles, fly free! But remember, however appealing the consequences might sound, leaving any environment is challenging.
On another thought, challenge is what drives all of us. If any activity is too simple, we get bored; if any activity is herculean, we get tired and give up. It is essential to maintain an adequate level of progressive challenge to our controlling life activities.
Coming back to toxic environments, leaving a job where you feel suffocated might be a good idea for some. You can leave a job, recover, and find a better one. You could find a job and then quit. Whatever you do, do not stay around in toxic environments eternally. They will tarnish your soul and suck the marrow out of your bones.
In the case of toxic families, you must escape. Families have huge control over us. Stronger than the hold of your fav porno chick. Freeing yourself from such dependency, control, exploitation, abuse, and misguided love is a tooth to nail struggle. If you have decide to leave your family because you can no longer bear them, make sure you do not start as a rookie. A rookie mistake would be to go solo immediately. If you are used to people living around you, living alone can be daunting. You might get lonesome, which would induce anxiety, leading to depression, and finally, you will start questioning your decisions. Do not fall for this trap—Move-in with a friend or at least in a hostel or a shared dwelling. Once you get used to being without them and relishing solitude for longer periods, you are free from the chaos and toxicity.
No reason is sufficient to cling to a toxic environment. It’s not at all cowardly or selfish to uproot yourself from toxic environments. Not doing so is instead a cocksucker’s move.
Go where your heart takes you. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
Suggested Reading: The Illusion Of Happiness, Explained
When we discussed toxic people, we covered people in your first level inner circle and extended circle. This section is for your immediate inner circle. In bureaucratic terms, those who influence your policy making – parents, loved ones, three friends with whom you bared it all, and a special someone who abused you and said it’s their way of loving. These are the ones who are mostly responsible for the beautiful mess we all turn out to be.
So, the question lies what we should do when our loved ones are toxic for us?
Should we bail on them?
My advice is yes!
Just pick a fancy bag, stuff it with all of your essentials. Get rid of the extra baggage in your life. Pick your bag and leave the interaction grounds, which are limiting you from becoming your best version.
Now, that’s my advice, which comes with a disclaimer: Only apply if you are a little cuckoo in the head.
I understand the importance of family. No bond which we develop in our growing up age or adulthood or later in life can match the intensity of what we create in our formative years. There is no denying that despite being toxic, relationships with family and childhood friends are mostly selfless and purely laid on the warm bed of unadulterated love.
However, it doesn’t matter how beautiful a flower is, it is always at the risk of infestation. Every fresh crop deals with its own issues of pests. That doesn’t mean that a family is a parasite that eats away the host, yet yes, that’s what it means.
It is essential to keep a safe distance from such toxic relationships so that you can develop a thick bullshit resistant coating.
We tend to suffer for our loved ones. It’s a great way to deal with toxicity. Bear, bear until you snap. However, the best way isn’t always the right way. If you have taken driving instructions from the Google map lady, you know what I am talking about.
Suffering induced by parents is a twisted form of love, there’s no denying this fact. However, the more toxicity you experience, the higher are the chances of your breakdown. If you breakdown or experience irreparable wear and tear, you won’t be able to alleviate your parents’ misery.
On the other hand, if you escape, grow resistance, and build a life for yourself, you can then spill over your goodness in their life, which can dull down their toxic selves.
In the same manner, siblings love us in their own twisted way, despite them stealing our clothes, money, and, in rare cases, love interests. We can breed hatred towards them for the rest of our miserable existence, or we can break free from the clutches of such insecure emotions and lift ourselves as human beings. Then we can invest our cognitive energy in making our life better, which in turn will make the lives of everyone around us better too.
If your childhood friend is now a divorced drunkard, there is no good you can do by associating with him/her. You can get them admitted to a rehab, send them for therapy, help them occasionally with a handout, and show them the right path, yet you cannot devote the rest of your life caring and nurturing for them.
Everyone has their shit to deal with. Lending our crutches to an able-bodied person is a terrible idea. Let them go through their struggle of life. Do not bail on them completely but do not get intertwined in their shit. That’s how grown-ups deal with issues. If you are a baby, then please continue being friends with your delusions and insecurities. If not, keep a one-arm distance.
Before you pounce on me with assertive remarks about how irresponsible it is to let go of such important ties, do a little introspection. You have clung to them for so long, how’s that working out for you?
How to beat aging
Damn! Feels so good to finally reach this section. I love it when we have laid down all the problems, and we are confidently steering towards the solution. The answer!
So here we go.
No major revelation coming your way. It’s the same old centuries tested way popularly known as Healthy Living. Yup, living a healthy life (both physically and mentally) is what improves your chances of seeing your grandkids smoke their first doobie. Just stick to the basics – Exercise, do what you love, learning, adventure, sex.
Physical activity not only improves your fitness, slows down aging, increases longevity, promotes healthy bio functions, but it also protects you from neurodegenerative conditions/diseases. To increase your stay on this godforsaken planet without paying extra rent, you need both – a healthy body and a strong mind. You won’t enjoy a long life if you lose your grip over reality as you age. Neither will you enjoy it if you lose your mobility. Physical workout takes care of both the bases.
Do strength training, yoga, tai-chi. Once you have mastered these, move on to learning a fighting skill. Learn taekwondo, judo, martial arts, boxing, or any such means of contact sports.
Pedal your way through your daily shit.
Run to avoid the clutches of overthinking.
Squat away your miseries.
Yes, it works!
Do what you love
Drudging what you do corrodes your soul and your body. Doing what you love causes elation, adding years to your being.
Mikhail Chiznametzy, in his bestseller “Flow,” introduces a trance-like work state, which we all can access provided the task at hand is just difficult enough to keep us engaged. Fortunately, flow doesn’t restrict itself to creative streams, as many other philosophers claim.
You don’t always have to paint, write, dance, invent, or create art to be happy. You should do if that’s what you are fond of, but it is not the key to happiness.
You can be happy stamping postcards, as Bukowski did. Motherfucker, spent half of his miserable life drunk, sitting in a post office stamping on husbands pleads to hypersexual wives apologizing for not making them cum often (ever). He still managed to lead a fulfilling life, not too long, but he was happy most of the time. Then again, he whored and gambled also, you shouldn’t be doing any of that, or maybe you should.
The bottom line: if you are not hurting anyone, if you are not wasting your time in idle pursuits, if you are not letting clouds of worry hover over your head 24/7, if you somehow manage to find something not too difficult to make your mind rule it out as impossible and not so easy that you do not get the essential level of stimulation, stick to it. Do it daily.
Find joy in what you do.
Try spending your time doing what you love. If you haven’t figured it out, love what you do while trying new things to see which one arouses your core. The moment you start this, you will feel like living longer, and that’s the breakthrough we all need – a desire to live. A gut feeling that life is priceless.
Also, keep in mind, work is worship. Pray Daily!
Read a book daily.
Listen to podcasts. (not one of erotic stories, ones that provide knowledge would be sufficient)
Read tech news. (AI just came up with an original dark joke. How fascinating!)
Watch porn. (just checking whether you are paying attention or not. Here’s let me spell it out, don’t watch porn! Whoa, now that we are talking, I think watching porn isn’t such a bad idea provided you don’t get addicted to it. Anyhoo, we will discuss this someday soon.)
Learning is food for the soul. As your body needs food, your soul does too!
Every new original thought fires a neuron in your brain. New connections are made. New patterns emerge. You let go of the rusty past and beam with joy in hopes of countless new possibilities. The shit doesn’t end here. It is also essential that you continue learning as it protects you from many neurodegenerative conditions.
Don’t forget to learn innovative tech upgrades. Tech’s going to be the future. It already is. You won’t enjoy asking a snotty millennial how to access “only fans” on your VR. Will you?
You have the spirit of an explorer. You were meant to climb mountains and swim oceans. You weren’t supposed to sit in a 6’x8 cubicle tapping on a keyboard for 12 hours straight until your carpal tunnel syndrome diagnosis comes through.
I am not pushing you to quit your job and begin a spiritual quest (I will be delighted, if you embark on such a journey and inspired too). There’s always a way to balance things. Maybe do a little yoga; it does increase the flow to your fingers. You might get saved from the carpal tunnel. Not from your ill-fated boredom. Sorry, no escape for that.
Our souls will wither and die if we do not feed it with novel experiences. There won’t be any trace of YOU left if you do not tune in with the gypsy within. All that will be left would be a copy of a copy of a copy. You don’t want that. Do you? You want to retain the illusion of your uniqueness. The best part is, yes you can, brother, yes you can!
Every Saturday morning before the first rays shower my side of the planet with a warm blanket of healing sunlight, I am off on my little bike; traveling into the unknown with a terrific speed of 12km/hr, without any destination in mind. It is not the destination which counts; the journey is what matters. (Whoa! These clichés at times fit so damn right in!)
We must supplement our lifestyle to include such regular moments of adventure. It will add color to your life. You don’t need to plan a vacation if you feel like getting a kick. Add little doses of exploration now and then. Yes, in the busy city streets. That does count!
You don’t even realize the city which you despise so much because it is nothing more than a stinking corpse inside a cemented cemetery, does have tons to offer. I remember days when I used to write pages criticizing how cities are ruining lives. Yet, the reality remains the same. We need them. We need them for dwelling, we need them for survival, we need them for our civilization, of course, at least until something groundbreaking comes along (maybe the space capsules we talked about earlier). Now that I have explored at least more than half the city on my cycle, I can proudly say – I love Delhi! It has all the colors one can ask for. There’s white, and there’s red, shades of green, a little beige, and holy shit, I know a secret spot, they have hidden a rainbow at one corner.
Damn, fuck! Isn’t that something to cheer for!
The point being, the traveler, inside needs to develop a stronger personality. Don’t keep him locked in only to whip out once a year (like you receive blow jobs only on your birthdays) when you go for your annual trip, with sanctioned leaves approved by your pot-bellied boss.
Feed the explorer regularly. I demand it!
Fuck, man, fuck! It’s a beautiful thing.
Lose yourself in love.
Cum and cry.
Cry and cum.
Making love is a beautiful act. Intimacy with a considerate soulful partner alters the fabric of your being towards better. An orgasm restores your biochemical balance. Of course, sex alone won’t solve all of your problems. It’s the wholesome relationship package that makes the real difference. Yet, sex in itself also is magical. Even if the act is casual, it will still offer you joy.
Love and sex-starved homo sapiens tend to leave the planet early. They do not have much to hold on to.
I am not going to make a strong case for sex. Whatever we do, we do it to get laid, a widely accepted theory mostly among biologists. Let’s just face it – we are base creatures, and sex is the most pleasurable base act.
Till the time you are enjoying a healthy sexual relationship with a partner, chances are your heart will stay more active and healthy. (oh, these matters of the heart!)
A healthy heart will ensure healthy blood flow into your arteries, making you disease and worry-free, adding more years to your life.
Suggested Reading: Are You Doing It Right?
But a word of caution – you might be young today, and sex for you might just be a passionate act of fucking and punching. But please keep in mind that as you grow older and realize the ways of the world, sex, as shown on TV, won’t be the one you will be practicing in the sheets. It’s the intimacy that will matter the most. The little things. Those fingertip boops! (you bring your fingers on your partner’s nose and then make a sound boop) Those affectionate hugs! Those cute cuddles! At the same time, don’t let the beast inside of you die. Unleash it every now and then.
Create havoc in the bedroom. Love like you have never before. Love like it’s your last day. Love hard. Live long!
A bright future awaits you
The possibility is relatively high that today all you can think about is paying your bills and making a name for yourself. There will be days when you will be utterly broken and lost. There will be days you will feel like ending these shenanigans. You might feel an urge to jump out the window or just try hanging in from the ceiling. Go ahead, hanging isn’t bad. Till the time you are hanging in there.
Jump out the window from a 122 storey building with a wingsuit strapped to your body.
Life is crazy.
Life is beautiful.
Life is brutal.
Life is nurturing.
Life is a shady cunt.
Life is a delicious piece of calorie-free cake.
Life is what you make of it.
And undoubtedly, life is precious, not just for us humans but for every living organism with a beating heart and inanimate objects crafted with love by the creators.
You must add something to the world you came in. I would suggest you add value, add beauty, add art, add philosophy, add inventions. Catapult your civilization towards a golden era.
You have this one life given to you. It is a must you make the most out of it.
Those who still think life is misery blended with tons of suffering, at least live longer to watch those space colonies and bully your grandkids. Least you could do!
I guess that will be all for today.
Thank you so much for reading.
Have a healthy and happy life.
If not, at least smile every time you breathe, totally free, I swear. You won’t receive any bills of goods ever.
How long do you think you will survive? Comment below!